I'm gonna have a badass scar
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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