I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
