I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
