If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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