I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize