i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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