we have pet lesbian snakes
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ugly people sure do ruin things
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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