There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
