Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
