Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
