Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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