There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
