Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
