bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
