wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
