She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize