so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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