wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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