:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
