Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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