The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
