it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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