You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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