...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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