We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
