Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
