At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
