Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
