great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
