so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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