doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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