Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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