why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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