Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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