My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize