i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
