i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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