so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
