Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
