mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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