um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
