I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
