NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
