i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
