What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize