a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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