i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
its not stalking. its research.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
