so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
