only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
