sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
