Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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