you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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