in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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