I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
