We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Sorry my hands just texted you
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
