Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Girls should come with a carfax report
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
