At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
