I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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