He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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