you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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