You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You can't motorboat a personality
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
