I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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